“Christina you do the RIGHT things, the completely WRONG WAY. I mean you do things for the RIGHT reasons, and with the right end result, but the WAY you go about doing it is ALL WRONG. “
Why did that statement seem to catch me crossways, then once my brain untwisted the double negative, positive, negative; I was OH… well YEAH!!! And I was actually proud of this. It took me a while to unpack why this was a truth and not just another one of those back-handed criticisms I had been hearing over and over again. It was true, I do things the WRONG WAY. But before you begin to argue with this being a POSITIVE aspect, let me explain a little of my journey to who I am as a person.
Yes let us take a journey back to my CHILDHOOD, I know I am seeing a new counselor these days, but bear with me this is unrelated I PROMISE. When I was in school, I would hear the process and method to follow, but once I saw it I was bound and determine to do it another way. Now with all the creative writing papers that I wrote, there were still some fundamentals that were REQUIRED in order for people to FOLLOW, understand, or comprehend my writing. So I struggled over and over with trying to produce written papers for various subjects that followed the rules, provided me with passing grades, and received praise for quality writing. Things were even more complicated in Math class. I would show my work, but I was always trying to solve the math problems in reverse order. Or in an order I thought would be JUST as good, but alas as much as I wanted the math text to be wrong it VERY rarely was. But nevertheless I TRIED.
There was something written into my DNA or drilled into me as a child that there could be another way to get to the result. So I was almost born with that poem by Robert Frost about taking the road less traveled. But I didn’t necessarily want to be alone by myself, but I wanted to discover something NEW. I wanted to go a direction or use a method no one had ever tried but have it arrive at the successful answer.
Later in life I have slowly come to the realization that those are the exceptions to the rule and it usually takes a LOT of hard work, trial and error, and FAILING to find a NEW way of doing something, especially when it comes to writing, math, business, science, getting a job, and making friends. But even with my acceptance of reality or the conforming to the norms, there is still a part of me that does not quite submit the way EVERYONE else does things.
And it is in this that my friend found the words to say that I do things the WRONG way. When it comes to friendships, relationships, and people I do not like the way that certain groups of people approach things. I will refer to it as a life philosophy: men and women can’t be friends, only nice people can have friends, or once you do things perfect you won’t be judged anymore. All crap in my mind. And on the surface you would be hard pressed to find people who say they agree with those life philosophies. BUT the way that most people act it supports those life philosophies either on purpose or on accident.
I decided years and years ago that there were certain things I would do differently than everybody else; but I was doing them because it was right (in my mind). So sometimes I will have a method or practice that supports my life philosophy but looks weird or funny to the world at large. And I am perfectly content with that. I mean how else does someone change the world than to stand apart from EVERYONE else on something (no matter how small). It is not end, but it is a beginning. And even though so many people want to part of a group who does everything the way they are comfortable with, so many more of us are looking for people who care, love, accept, support, embrace, and connect with us in a different way than the norm.
So with proud confidence, I will admit that YES, I do things the WRONG way, but it gets me to the right place. I just take a different road to get there, wouldn’t Robert Frost be proud?