Months and months ago I wrote a series based on the list I had created years ago called What I look for. This all started from a few of my friends saying I needed to make my list. I needed to know in my mind, heart, and print what I was looking for in the man I wanted to partner with in this life. I even found a section in one of my favorite books that provided a list of things that should be asked when determining if someone is a Person of Character. I even put it on my blog as a separate page to remind myself from time to time.
Well just as I had completed that series a blast from my past arrived on my door step. Well maybe not my door step but my Facebook page, and these days that might as well be your front door. After a series of conversations, dates, non-dates, community dinners, friend introductions, and the like; we have decided that a relationship between the two of us would be a bad thing (we being me). Bad meaning unhealthy, dysfunctional, co-dependent, draining, chaos causing, and frustrating (is there anything else that would make something bad?) But I am getting distracted from the real topic, which is that I think I found a few more things to add to my list.
This psalm is referred to as a wedding song, so what better way to identify those things I WANT in my future partner than here. Now I promise not to rewrite the entire chapter, since I realize that would be redundant and most importantly impractical or improbable. But since I get to decide what I want, and what I will pray for and what I am hoping for out of this chapter, then that is what I am going to WRITE. SO THERE. I don’t sound a little defensive do I? But in all seriousness allow me a few moments to share a heart felt inspiration as a piece of scripture is inspiring me to draw a connection to my life in this season.
My heart is stirred…
You are the most excellent of men and your lips have been anointed with grace, since God has blessed you forever.
Gird your sword on your side, you mighty one; clothe yourself with splendor and majesty.
In your majesty ride forth in the cause of truth, humility and justice, let your right hand achieve awesome deeds.
Your throne, O god, will last forever and ever; a scepter of justice will be the scepter of your kingdom.
You love righteousness and hate wickedness; therefore God, your God,
has set you above your companions by anointing you with the oil of joy.
With grand expectation and hopeful want, I desire a man who will have lips that use words laced with grace and not criticism. That God’s heart for my well-being and growth would be communicated from him as gracious items of life and not destructive points leaving me bruised and wounded at the mere mention of the words. Not that truth wouldn’t be spoken, but that he would know that fine art of speaking truth in love to me.
Although I do not require my man to be a card-carrying member of the sword wielding guild, he must have the confidence that builds him to a place of being the mighty one in his life. That he know who he is in God and that he knows where he is going. He is confident in his mind and heart to carry the sword of the spirit and the shield of faith in this crazy world of church, friends, family, and work. (Kind of a compliment to my favorite artist’s picture on my blog.)
That his values run deeper than this is what my parents taught me. That his life philosophy includes fighting for the cause of truth, humility, and justice. The world may not be fair and there will be injustices that will be done in front of us and to us; but that does not negate the need to do life towards those goals. Just as there is a balance between truth and grace there is a balance between confident mighty strength and honest genuine humility; and in these I want him to know the difference and strive to achieve this.
In the deepest core of my soul lies the belief that it is important to be fair and just in my decisions and actions. Even if this means someone gets a benefit over me. So reading this scripture that speaks to the scepter of justice ruling over his kingdom, really resonates with what I believe to be one of my most important life decisions. So he must also value truth and justice above all else. (and the American way?) Funny how certain things end up programmed in the back of one’s mind.
Finally, the anointing you with the oil of joy, has become so important in my life I cannot imagine living in a partnership without it. I did not move into adulthood a happy or joyful person. Too much tragedy, complaining, and hurt had not allowed me to embrace those things. But as healing, acceptance, friendship, and grace has found its way into my life I began to realize that joy is an important part of everyday. It doesn’t always FEEL that way, and I may not always express it or live in it, but it is a choice at those times for me to still allow God’s joy to change my perspective and attitude. So he must also have that same desire to look for the joy, seek out the good, and make the best of any given situation.
After all, I am typing this in the midst of a rainy Oregon day while camping, in a tent, by herself; if a girl can find the good in that part, well then he is definitely SHOULD be able to as well.