But all it is doing is causing me to think too hard. I have these great ideas for blog posts, so in an effort to not forget them I start a draft and just leave it there. Then I assume that hours later (well days or weeks later) I will reopen my nugget of thought and be inspired to continue the thought and bring it to its natural conclusion. BUT THIS NEVER WORKS OUT THIS WAY!!! Why is that? Why do I think this idea I am having is so great and connected to what I am feeling or so profound that I must just write my thoughts on it out there for the world to see? But then I do nothing with it.
I am even sitting here in the grand outdoors, soaking in all the great nature (some days Oregon can just NOT be beat when it comes to trees, greenery, and peace and quiet) and figured this was the most PERFECT time to drag out those drafts and make them into actual BLOG posts. And even now I am stuck staring at them going, what was I trying to say there? Why am I not feeling INSPIRED to write about that now? Maybe it’s a mood thing. Maybe I need to realize that not all great thoughts will turn into blog posts.
Maybe I need a new location for these supposed GREAT ideas because right now they just seem to be LOOMING To Do items. You know the ones, like the unread emails that sit in your inbox bolded, begging for your attention. You have the intention of reading them WHEN YOU GET SOME TIME, but they are not high priority. So there they sit, but the number of BOLDED items ALSO sits in your inbox reminding you of all the things you haven’t done YET.
So it becomes this new and pressing NEED to cross off the list, or get DONE so that it doesn’t bother you anymore. Well at least that is what it does to me. I have worked very hard to attempt to change the wiring my thinking to either get the items read, deleted, or JUST IGNORE THEM until you want to read them. But that just doesn’t seem to work as well as I want it to. Why is that?
Have I been so conditioned to get my “chores” done so that I can play, that I cannot seem to walk by a SOMETHING that needs doing and NOT do it? Or I can’t just let it be. You know that box that needs to go in the garage? Or that dirty part of the door that needs to be cleaned? Or the pile of clothes in the corner that just need to be put in a bag to take to goodwill? I mean my home is FULL of these LITTLE things and not all are my responsibility to fix. And not all of them need DOING right now or EVER, but there is this nagging feeling in the back of my mind every time I see them. It seems to get added to this giant pile of obligations I have on my plate or even on my actual physical To Do list.
But I find that if I stop what I am doing and do those little things I become a little ADD or ADHD (whatever the easily distractible one is) and I have a dozen things started at once. Cookies baking, dishes soaking, iTunes updating, email reading, counter wash rag waiting, plant watering pitcher needed, phone text reading, and television show watching. That is just the ones I remember starting.
Now what was I working on again? Oh yeah that drafts folder…