So what does one write about when there is too much and not enough to write about all at the same time? I have over 2 dozen half posts started, but not certain I have the energy or time to sort through the emotions and deep thought it takes to masterfully craft a creative post. Then I was reminded of a friend of mine who says that a blog is supposed to be an account of what is happening now. What are the things I am thinking now in the moment, kicking around the corners of the mind at this particular time. And THEN I start to get overwhelmed with all the different things that are kicking around my mind. So maybe in an attempt to find clarity and cohesive thought a list might be in order (yes I am a list maker, it has served me well over the years, so I do it often):
I am in Sacramento on a work trip, so there are all the TO DO’s wrapped around work, plus the stress of my boss arriving on Tuesday, Go-Live (where we change software systems), Political hub-bub that comes with Regional People on-site. Being put on the spot for all challenges and issues and questions and hoping upon hoping I did a good enough job with the training that it KINDA sticks enough for the people to do their jobs… YEAH NO PRESSURE.
I am visiting friends and their 2 kids, which is fun but at times I feel I’m in the way, not knowing if I’m contributing enough or spending enough time with them since there are parts of my vacation that I like nothing more than truly being lazy and brain dead. It has almost become a thanksgiving tradition to do nothing and accomplish nothing; but I don’t know if that is a throw back from my student days where I would half believe I would catch up on school work during these four days… all the while being pressured to just HAVE FUN or veg.
Financially, I made a serious boo boo and paid my bills, sounds harmless, but lets just say my reimbursement check may have been “processed” but my bank hasn’t seen it yet so it might as well not exist. OOOPS Silly Dave Ramsey, getting me ALL excited about paying my bills.
Food is always a fun topic, but for some reason I just can’t quite get my emotions to tell me the truth. One minute I’m in complete control and the next moment all I want is 5 kinds of fast food RIGHT NOW!!! I thought I survived Thanksgiving fine, because I didn’t do sweets and I thought I kept my portions relatively in check; but the scale corrected me and it was a heart wrenching, depressing blow to my ego. As a result Friday sucked and Saturday isn’t looking much better. Dang it why does food have to taste so good… all the wrong kinds.
Positive health note: I went for a 1.5 mile walk today and it was easy. I used my rain coat because it decided to be a GLORIOUSLY rainy Oregon Day in Elk Grove. But it made walking easy and I had lovely time and it wasn’t hard and I really TRULY enjoyed the time with the iPod and my “driving” mix. Thank you Lisa for the INCREDIBLE idea of finding songs that make the body MOOOOOOVE!!! So for the record that would be 3 times I have exercised on this trip, which is more than I have done in over 5 months. SO THERE TURKEY DAY!!! 😛
I have been doing my bible reading just about every day and even though it is not quite the emotional high I want it to be, I am doing it. I have been reading my Divine Mentor book and keeping on track with the meetings and discussions. I have been praying and taking quiet time with God and not letting the television run all my quiet time. Although I have had to fight my chatty Kathy tendencies to make that quiet time exist also.
I am away from my new community and they are having all these fantastic events that I get to hear about through email, yet I am a whole state away. I miss the interactions and laughter that spending time with them generates. I am hoping that I will not be forgotten (insert fake sniffle here) and that when I return it will all be the same but different.
Finally, I have been conversing with my X (yes that would be an ex-boyfriend from over a ZILLION years ago). It’s been a roller coaster of sorts, but for some reason I’m still engaged in conversations. Some how some way were are bringing out the best and worst of each other during our conversations. But the more we talk the better it gets, and just when I think this is it. This is one more chance around the merry-go-round and I AM DONE, something cool happens and it changes. Hmmm interesting. Yet I think we have finally reached a more grounded friendship conversation style more focused around life and God and less about US and relationships. THANK GOODNESS.
So there it is a post about everything and nothing all at the same time. Enjoy!