A friend of mine once asked me a pretty tough question when I first started discussing THE LIST with her… With all these wants and desires for the MAN to possess. What do I have to offer a single man seeking out an amazingly good Christian woman? What do I bring to the relationship? I had not ever thought of it quite that way before. I mean I know there are things that men look for and that as a woman I should bring to any relationship in order for it to be successful. So I tried to put the shoes on the other feet, I mean foot, I mean… you get the idea. I tried to think about what I as a person have to offer. What are those things that if a guy were to create THE LIST could I compare myself to on that accomplished side? eHarmony even has a set of open questions where one of them actually forces you to describe yourself. So here is my understanding of myself… I hope its “accurate”.
What do you think are the three best traits you have to offer a partner?
My desire to focus on improvement and learning is practically second nature. My primary focus is on improving things: whether it is myself, my home, my spiritual life, my mind, my relationships, my work performance, I want the next time to be better than this time. Given that I analyze things a lot, talk about cause/effect solutions, and challenge myself to change behaviors in order for change to occur. This trait will add continual growth and communication in any relationship I pursue.
My ability to show compassion, provide understanding, and discuss ideas while having the patience to not let the annoying little things get to me. I think this is what my guy friends call the best friend factor. Low maintenance, low stress, and easy to talk to have been used to describe me.
My loyalty to those I love is undying and unshaken. Only after years of non communication do I ever consider a friendship dead or not worth investing. Even when burned, if the person comes to me to make amends, discuss issues, talk about feelings, or simply rekindle things; it has always rebuilt the relationship. This will provide my partner the commitment necessary to be in a long-term relationship (at least so I think).
So those are the 3 but is that all there is? I believe I am fairly smart and keep up on most discussion and debate topics even if I am not completely knowledgeable. I love a good story in movies, tv, or in the telling so much that I have learned to spread the love and entertain. I strive to make people see the positive and attempt to cheer them up in their moments of stress, chaos, and sadness.
I make being real and honest a constant choice in my life even if it doesn’t feel good and may be a bit hurtful (but it is hard some days). Even if its messy and challenging I bring an authenticity in my relationships, so you always know what I am thinking and feeling.
I will listen, maybe not to everything, but to the things that are important to him. Since it does not come naturally, I will work at it. I will be a woman who talks to him with respect, encouragement, and admiration. By treasuring and respecting his ideas, desires, actions, decisions, and career choices even if it does not perfectly mirror my own ideas.
I love doing things for other people and enjoy finding out how to make life easier for the other person. Even with my passion and emotions comes a layer of logic and reason that especially comes out with challenging decisions. And I’m pretty cute too. 😉
Have you ever tried to put on paper the things your good at? Something feels weird about it. So friends and neighbors would you agree? Are those my strengths as you see them? Are there things I am forgetting? What would you add to this list of things I offer? What are the things I may be giving myself too much credit for – rose colored glasses maybe?