Now for the last year I have been back into the mindset of WANTING to date. Not necessarily wanting to have a boyfriend or immediately start the march down the center aisle in that fancy white dress thing; but wanting to at least DATE. I mean goodness gracious, lots of women get to at least date… I WANT TO DATE!!! I found myself back into the Oh whoa is me mentality because I couldn’t seem to be in a place where there were single men… single Christian men… Single Christian men who were INTERESTED in me. I let myself fall emotionally head over heels for someone not emotionally available. I let myself start a nice little gossip fest over another guy at church cuz I thought he looked at me funny. I signed back up on that silly eHarmony thing and Plenty of Fish. Try to keep your eye rolls to a minimum… I have done enough to give myself eye sprain (Doc says just some anti-inflammatories and time will heal this condition).
What am I hoping to find?
Friendly conversational adventurous Christian man who is wants to begin a getting to know you process…commonly known as dating. The man must be taller than me (5’4″), have an interesting sense of humor, sensitivity to things that are important while not sweating the small stuff. He must be confident in his faith and how it applies to daily life and the grand future plan. As a practicing Christian woman, I am looking for a man who is open about their life, while respecting my limits (ie I come with a “no sex before marriage” clause). Someone who enjoys talking, listening, socializing, getting out into the great outdoors, while enjoying the benefits of a night at home. I am interested in someone who will engage in discussions with me about life and God and relationship STUFF. Someone who enjoys a good tug of war in words and actions, all in the name of fun ya know. Ideally, he would make me feel loved, challenged, encouraged, protected, inspired, and successful all at the same time. I’m looking at an age range of 30-49 as a general rule, living reasonably close to Portland, Oregon.
Now there is a good profile summary that encompasses the essence of my list wouldn’t you say? Okay maybe not. In case I forgot to include just a couple more items from THE LIST:
- He must choose to be honest and communicate his love, affection, dreams, goals, desires, feelings, and needs; regardless of how hard or awkward the topic or situation.
- He should not be afraid to take the initiative romantically and physically. He doesn’t have to ask permission, but he does need to take the lead while still listening and watching my words and my body language. Most importantly, being patient to wait and allow the relationship to develop at a slow and healthy pace and not rush things. All the while respecting boundaries we have established within our relationship.
I don’t know, I feel like I need to hire a consultant before I post anything out there in the online real world. I don’t know how many people are aware, but as the show American Idol has continued through its MULTIPLE seasons end over end, people have come out of the wood work to proclaim themselves as the EXPERTS on how to MAKE it on American Idol. Although I do not belive these people charge for their services, I am always amazed by the fact that some of these people have NEVER auditioned for American Idol, NOR have they MADE IT to the top 12 or as a winner. I mean I don’t understand why people would listen to people just because they SAY they know what it takes. Its like someone who has been unemployed for a few years, with no offers, interviews, or phone calls giving people advice on how to get a job. Not just write a good resume, but its like a teenager asking a blind person how to be an experienced, safe, alert driver. I mean REALLY?
So how does one write a successful profile that makes a girl sound funny, clever, cute, low maintenance, not too crazy, fun, and worth the effort? eharmony attempts to make you believe its all about the 27 or 49 points of compatibility, but I am beginning to think that is just a really good marketing strategy. Especially because I have over 405 closed matches (they were not interested in me), and not a SINGLE solitary eHarmony match has lead to a first date or a meeting in person… hmmmmmmm