If I am just starting to really know myself after so long, how can I possibly know what type of person would be good for me? I mean just because I have come to understand I have triggers and emotions and bad habits (that MAY NEVER CHANGE); how am I suppose to determine which type of personality or strengths or weaknesses are a good pairing for my unique collection of dysfunction? I am not sure I even know what a healthy Christian guy looks like.
So despite the fact that I believe I am unqualified to know WHAT I want, here is the part of THE LIST that goes more to who he IS than what he DOES:
- He must be strong in his faith & know how it integrates into his life personally and into the life of his family.
- He must believe that in everything there is more to learn. That growing & changing & improving does not stop until death.
- He must have a heart for children. Willing to raise a couple of our own and adopt those who are in need of a loving home environment.
- He must have a generous heart and a giving attitude with his time, resources, and heart. Learning how to assist the needs of others, while knowing how to say “No” and take time for himself and the family.
- He should strive to be and do his best in his work whether it is paid, volunteer, or ministry.
Hopefully, somewhere in that list it makes sense that I want someone who knows there is more to do in the area of self-improvement, learning about others, and serving God. That the words well that’s just the way I am so deal would not escape the lips nor be a life philosophy.
Children whether by birth, foster care, adoption, or marriage are a part of my future. I don’t exactly know how, but they are so I need a man who shares in that love.
This is more of a balancing act that I struggle with still. I am not expecting perfection just desire. Even this month I have had 4 requests (very real needs) for financial support for real people in difficult situations. I want to have a husband who is willing and ready to help those in need (even though I know I must control my spending so that there is actually money in the budget for such occasions). I also want to give of my time and energy (when I have some ) but continue to remember that other people can not replace family and dealing with the things God has already called us or him to.
I desire a man with drive and care for his work. He doesn’t have to be as ambitious as the next CEO or first person to take the _____________ ministry world-wide; yet I want him to WANT what is next in his life. I am good at cheerleading and encouraging and supporting; but I do not… let me REPEAT: I DO NOT want to carry someone or GIVE them the drive they need to get what they want. I don’t want to push I don’t want to pull… a small amount of nudging and guiding IF it is needed. But I want a man who is not afraid to pursue his passions, make a plan, and work hard to make it happen: success or failure.
How did this subject go from a 16 point list to over 2 weeks of postings? I guess there was more in my mind on the subject that I cared to admit. There may possibly be another subject I am avoiding – naaaaaaahhhhh.