On some level I have gotten into a groove of the routine of life. Go to work, make money, pay bills, save for the future. Well WHAT FUTURE??? Am I just marking time until I get married? Am I just holding my breath until the right man comes along? Am I too afraid to branch out and try something because if I fail I will be alone and broke and on the streets? Have I become so comfortable with the security in having a job that I am not willing to risk or try something else? Get my Masters, Take another Job, work for a church, teach english in Thailand, be a foster parent solo…
I haven’t thought of these things because in some capacity I have gotten use to what I have. I have gotten that safe and secure feeling of what life is like to have a job and then do a little smattering of fun things here and there. But then there is that urging, nudging question that seems to creep up into my mind.
What is my Purpose? I mean really seriously down deep making changes to the universe and humanity… Why am I here on this earth to do things? What is it that is bigger than me? More important than me? What is my purpose?
I know that there is a part of my desires, since I was just a small child, that has wanted to take care of foster kids or adopt orphans. Maybe I watched the Annie movie TOO many times for my own good. But there I even had a dream when I was younger that I would live in a house full full of friends all living together… and AMAZINGLY enough I am doing that now, in one form or another. 🙂 So what can I do to take care of foster children right now? I can’t take one on because of my job and I am genuinely afraid of doing it by myself. I am not sure about working with a boys and girls club because I can not be consistent. What about working with a Jr High youth program, well not if I am going to be on the road 3 weeks of the month for a year. Again it becomes about the job. But if this is my purpose, my heart’s desire, my destiny, my true calling; why am I letting the JOB I have interfere with that?
This led to my decision that I need to quit my day job. Just kidding.
What I need is to devise a 5 year plan, how did I get to that you may ask? Well, any change takes planning and as the famous saying goes those who fail to plan plan to fail. So for my life I need to do just that make a plan. The 5 year plan is a method for me to put on paper and give myself direction to accomplish my goal. Of course I kinda need to start out with the goal in mind. So that is my focus FIRST… then even if I don’t end up working with foster kids in 5 years, this will have gotten me focused on thinking about what DO I WANT out of this life. What is my purpose and how am I taking steps to fulfill it?
I do want to remember my heart’s desire… to work with children that have been lost, forgotten, abandon, left, ignored, discarded. The difficult… the misunderstood. To work and restore and love continually and forget their wrongs and failings and issues. To help them find victory in a life that has been set forth in chaos and untruthfully destined for destruction. To encourage their minds that may believe there is no hope and no future. Somewhere in that pocket of unadoptables is my audience…
Now the question becomes, what do I do to go there? What must I do today to be ready for tomorrow?