In the beginning, there was an invitation…
Hey Christina you play softball?
I use to…
We have a fall league and we need another girl to play… want to?
(Fill in lots of chatter, questions, and random funny one liners here to continue the conversation)
Since I KNEW the answer to the do you WANT to play… was YES YES YES PLEEEEEEEEEASE; but I didn’t want to seem eager. I was always taught a lady is supposed to play hard to get. (Oh wait I think that was for something else.) The WANT to do something has never been an issue for me. But as an aging, growing adult I have realized that I have many more limits than I remember. The mind can say one thing, but the body goes HUH? what’s that I don’t remember doing that. It doesn’t help that a couple of years ago at a church picnic I jumped in for a casual game and played my usual position (right field) and I couldn’t get to a ball to SAVE MY LIFE. I was running as hard as I knew how, I was just SLOWER. I couldn’t anticipate where the ball was going to go (like I use to) and even my specialty of catching flies was NOT up to my standards. Talk about FEELING like a loser; almost looked like I hadn’t ever played this game before.
That experience has made me weary of trying it again. I mean when ya have one bad experience that is supposed to be the NEW standard by which all things will happen exactly the same in the future right? (History is Destiny, NOT) But when I heard this group has a softball league that plays together back in June I was Soooo excited and TERRIFIED ALL at the same time. I told myself to be patient there is always next year and that would give me more time to get the body ready. Cuz even though I am 90 pounds lighter than the last time I played, that doesn’t mean I can run or move AT ALL.
But here it is… The invitation, the want, the need, the OPPORTUNITY to JUMP in and TRY IT! And from the minute I started playing with this idea, the safety committee has been in FULL SESSION. What if you can’t hit anymore? What if you can’t play outfield? Have you looked at yourself in a mirror lately… do you really want perfect strangers watching that body RUN? You don’t have a glove, you have never been able to pick out the right bat for yourself, can you even through a ball to a person anymore? AND THEN THERE ARE THE CLOTHES… what are you gonna WEAR out there in front of all those people?
It doesn’t take much for the pysche to get completely discouraged and depressed and worn out about all the things I don’t have an answer for. But there was something about this that sparked a teeny tiny ounce of motivation, desire, WANT TO at least TRY… Ever had one of those THINGS? Something you really TRULY have NO idea if you can accomplish, but you want to try? Its been FOREVER that I have even stopped for a moment and let that thought kick itself around LET ALONE start to work itself out in the REAL WORLD.
Was Christina up for such a LEAP, stretch, adventure? We shall see…