So here we are… The first official, I typed it myself, blog posting. It’s amazing how easy it is to write when you are familiar with the format and the audience, but put a person in front of something unfamiliar and ALL of a sudden there seems to be no words to write. So I am going to be patient with myself as I attempt to figure out my voice in this silly blog thing. How is it so easy to write an email to a group of people, but writing a “POST” out there for the world is so much of a challenge? A friend of mine said it is a good EXERCISE… Good Practice… Funny how it doesn’t feel like GOOD practice. 🙂
Reminds me of the what happens when ever some one starts something new. There is the imagining it, trying it, failing, looking stupid, hopefully trying again, getting better or worse, trying again, hopefully getting better, feeling confident, trying again, feeling effective, doing it again, until there are those moments of satisfied success. I do believe this is where I insert David’s favorite quote… It’s a PROOOOOOOCESSSSS!!!
Funny how I have trained myself that if I can not imagine it or visualize the first few steps of the PROCESS, I do not even get to the trying it phase. Unless of course I am alone without an audience, then I MIGHT try it. Has age increased my fear of failure or do I just have more memories of the humiliations of previous failures that attempting something new carries with it an almost traumatic internal emotional reaction?
I know I have lived through this PROCESS with my job… I mean 7 years should give a person the kind of confidence that comes with being the expert. There were many moments of humiliation, failure, conflict, stress, learning, trying again, irritation at myself, failure, trying again, looking stupid, trying again. Some how, some way I need to remember that each of those steps has brought me to where I am AND recognize the value in failure. Especially since my psyche seems to be in protect, preserve, survive mode ALL the time, which prevents me from stepping out and trying things I can’t “picture” how it would work.
Therefore, this is one of those moments at which I am attempting to try something NEW even though I can not picture how it works, can’t imagine IF it will work, AND I am still a little fuzzy on what the positive End Goal is. But I never wanted to be one of those people who EVER lived up to the “can’t teach an old dog new tricks” cliché, so here it is a silly blog thing to FORCE myself past the uncomfortable incompetent stage into the try it again… try it again… and hopefully often Try It Again.